New Beginnings
by freewilledcas
Summary: For Castiel Color Challenge January 2016 Prompt: CITRINE 'It lets you see what is in your future.', Castiel responded as he handed you a small object. You reached for it. You looked at it as you cradled it in your palms. It is a marquise cut gem and it appeared to glow with its translucent yellow shade. You could easily see its resemblance to the rays of sunlight.


You sat on the trunk of the Impala with a bottle of beer in hand, Castiel was leaning on the car. A smile was plastered on your faces as you watched Dean and Sam set up the fireworks in the distance. They looked like two 5-year-olds, giggling and running all over the place.

You pulled over an open field just as midnight struck. You've all just finished a Nachzehrer job, or as Dean insisted on calling it, ' _ghoul-pire_ '. It was a fairly quick one but it was a bit late when you finished. Sam and Dean insisted on celebrating the New Year together with you and Cas. It's a good thing that Sam brought the assortment of firecrackers in the Impala with you, otherwise, you all wouldn't have it in time for the New Year.

* * *

' _I have to say, Y/N, you humans have a way of going through with your lives, you even mark time with celebrations like these._ ', Cas commented as you both watched the fireworks Dean and Sam fired up, blasts of colorful lights and sparks illuminated the clear, dark sky above.

You were looking up at the sky, you didn't notice Dean throw a firecracker a few yards from you. You almost fell off the Impala when the firecracker blew up and jolted you. Castiel was quick to hold on to your arm, not letting you fall.

' _Gosh, that got me so good. Thanks Cas._ ', you said as you placed your hand on your chest, you felt your heart was beating like mad. You sat back up on the trunk. You looked over at Dean and he was on the ground laughing hysterically. _'I'll make you regret that Dean!_ ', you shouted at him.

It's been a while since you all had a good laugh like this and it is definitely refreshing.

 _'How's the new year treating you so far Cas?_ ', you asked while you eased yourself in a comfortable position as you sat on top of the trunk.

' _Well, the fireworks are surprisingly loud up close, but it's nice that I'm spending the New Year with all of you. How about you?_ ', Cas inquired, gazing over at you.

' _New Year, new start, right?_ ', you replied as you smiled at him. He responded with with a sweet smile.

' _Although I'm a bit worried though.._ ', you continued. You took a sip from the bottle of beer you're holding.

You gazed at Sam and Dean lighting up fireworks after fireworks in the distance. The sound of the firecrackers and Sam and Dean's laughter somehow faded as you remembered how worried you are about the future and what it entails. You're a bit afraid of what will happen next, if things will go as you plan, if your goals are going to be fulfilled. You have so many 'If's and the uncertainty of the future somehow scares you. You want this year to be different. A lot of things has happened over the past years, there were ups, downs, and even sideways. You're just looking forward to a better and happier year for you.

' _I just want for things to go well this time and I'm worried if I will make the right decisions._ '. you continued.

Castiel looked at you, studying you, as you looked down, swinging your feet back and forth the edge of the Impala. You glanced up to see Castiel with a worried look on his face. The last thing you want is giving Castiel the burden of your worries. He sure is an adorable angel and for a celestial being, he has more than enough essence of humanity in him and he sure is one for being selfless enough. You don't want Castiel to be burdened with whatever you have in mind right now, he has been into far too much bad stuff lately. He deserves a break.

' _I guess I just have to be optimistic then!_ ', you sang out to Castiel cheerfully.

You got off the Impala and placed your empty bottle of beer on the ground.

' _Hey guys, save some for me!_ ', you hollered at Sam as he rummaged through a box full of a variety of firecrackers.

 _'Come on and join the fun, Cas_!' you shouted as you made a run towards Sam and Dean.

Castiel stood at the Impala, watching you for a while, a worried look still plastered on his face before he ran to join you in celebrating the first hours of the new year.

* * *

The next few days, you've been busy listing down the things that you want to achieve. You figured if you want to make a change, you better start organizing your schedule so you can be more productive. You do want to accomplish something for yourself this time. You felt that you somehow lacked the sense of self fulfillment so you figured you start listing down the things that you want to do.

' _How's that list of yours coming?_ ' Castiel asked as he walked in to the library. He sat down next to you.

' _Looking good so far, I've got about 30 items here now and I wish to finish them soon._ ', you said cheerfully. Although inside, the fear of the unknown still lingers. Your smile immediately faded as you thought about how you didn't want to fail yourself this time.

' _Why are you so worried about the future?_ ', Castiel inquired.

You looked up to meet his gaze. You knew there's no use in denying it. With a dejected sigh, _'I just don't want to screw things up. I've had my fair share of screw ups and I'm not down for that anymore. I just want to make things right. I just want to live a life where I'm happy with myself but I'm scared that I can't do it.'_

Castiel squinted his eyes as he listened to you intently, trying to understand your view point.

You looked at him, awaiting his reaction.

He seemed to be in deep thought.

' _I want to show you something._ ', he said suddenly.

' _What is it Cas?_ ', you said, closing your notebook.

' _Come with me?_ ', he requested, standing up.

You stood up and Castiel placed his hand on your shoulder and in a blink of an eye, you knew you're not in the bunker's library anymore.

* * *

You found yourself standing on a stone covered path at the center of what seems like a massive garden. There are lush green, freshly mowed grass on the ground and a colorful variety of flowers paved the sides of the pathway. The contrasting colors of the daffodils, bluebells, peonies, daisies, and plenty other flowers you've not seen before basked in a golden glow from the sunbeams seeping through the crevices between the leaves of the trees towering above you.

' _This place is beautiful._ ', you uttered in amazement as your eyes followed a swarm of butterflies flutter across the garden.

You gasped as a pair of white fluffy bunnies hopped across the path in front of you.  
Your eyes darted from left to right as you looked at a flock of doves flew past you.

' _Is this... heaven?_ ', you asked.

' _Yes Y/N, this is heaven._ ', Castiel answered as he turned to look at you. He smiled as he saw your jaw drop in disbelief.

The place is far-reaching. You are not even sure if there is a beginning or an end to this place. You felt energized as you let the fresh air fill your lungs. This is a good change to the dark and brooding rooms of the bunker. You definitely needed this ' _mini-vacation'._

' _Thanks Cas, this is a good change in the environment. I love it._ ', you said happily as you hopped across the path trying to follow a group of hedgehogs who ran past you.

' _I have some thing to show you._ ', Castiel said calmly.

You followed him as he continued walking down the stone path.

You both stopped in your tracks as you saw a large sundial sitting on top of a marble pedestal at the end of the path. You felt compelled to touch it, like it is beckoning you towards it. You moved closer to have a better view of the dial. Oddly enough, the trees surrounding it hindered the rays of sunlight from reaching the sundial. You placed your hand on the slab at the top of the pedestal. You felt engravings on it. You looked closer to see a small inscription on the marble.

" **A pair of eyes into the past,  
And a vision of the future**"

' _What does it mean?_ ', you asked as you looked back at Cas who was standing behind you.

 _'It lets you see what is in your future._ ', Castiel responded as he handed you a small object.

You reached for it. You looked at it as you cradled it in your palms. It is a marquise cut gem and it appeared to glow with its translucent yellow shade. You could easily see its resemblance to the rays of sunlight.

' _It looks like sun beams trapped in a rock._ ', you commented as you observed it at eye level.

 _'It's a Citrine. The truth is, that stone traps sun rays and through this sundial, the rays will help you see through your future. This way, I wouldn't know about your future at all and anything that you see remains with you._ ', Castiel said as he gestured towards the sundial.

You looked back at the sundial and figured that the stone would fit perfectly into the hole at the middle of its base.

Your eyes fell upon the inscription marks.

' _A pair of eyes into the past.._ ', you said softly.

' _Before you get a glimpse of your future, you'll be given a glimpse of your past first._ ', Castiel explained.

You don't really get the point in seeing what is in your past. But you figured there's no harm in it and you were curious to know about your future. You just wanted to end your worries once and for all.

You moved closer to the sundial. You looked at the gemstone in your hands and moved further towards the marble pedestal. You looked back at Cas,

' _The sundial will show you two events from your past first._ ', Castiel clarified.

You gingerly placed the Citrine on the recess at the center of the sundial. You shielded your eyes with your hand as bright beams of light emanated from the sundial.

* * *

You found yourself in a familiar corridor.

You walked slowly towards the end of the corridor to the room which you considered a home for 4 years.

You took a deep breath as you swung the door open.

And there, you saw her. You saw your freshman self. She... or you, were by your study table and you were writing down notes frantically. There are 3 text books opened on top of your desk and you were turning pages here and there.

You, the present you, felt a flood of emotions rushing through. You remember this scene well. It's your very first finals week. You have tons of projects and there is the long list of exams you have to study for. You remember how it was all whacked for you then. You have cried several times because of the pressure. You really wanted to finish your studies but then, the difficulty of it all is weighing down.

Looking at your younger self, you knew very well that she was having a hard time. It was 2 in the morning and yet she's still up studying. You really wanted to give your young self a hug. You knew she needed it then. You couldn't take it anymore. It was so difficult to watch. One of your worst moments was playing all over again in front of your very eyes. You quickly ran out of the room.

You now found yourself in a wooded area.

* * *

It was almost nightfall and fog filled the area. You wandered on cautiously.

You heard someone crying in a distance. You immediately understood where you are and who was crying.

You walked on slowly towards the direction of the sound. There, you saw her, your younger self, the hunter-in-training, just after her first vampire hunt which almost ended in a disaster.

Just thinking about it makes you feel sick and actually seeing it made you feel dizzy. You were actually not yet ready for a full out hunt as you were still learning about the lores. One day, you heard over a case from the police radio and it sounded much like a vampire attack. The Winchesters were out on a case of their own and they forbid you from going on any hunts yet. You were such a stubborn person and you were keen on saving people.

You drove to the place where an attack was last reported. You were able to save one victim and you went back to find the nest of vampires to end them once and for all. You were young and reckless. While you were surveying the area, a vampire came up behind you. You were quick to put a stake through his heart but you were taken aback when you found that he's still alive. He knocked you down and you struggled to keep his fangs off you. You were close to giving up and expecting the worst when Dean swung his machete and cut the vampire's head off.

' _What were you thinking Y/N? Stakes through the heart don't kill vampires!_ ', Dean reprimanded.

You felt stupid for not learning more about the vampires before you set out on a hunt. You somehow knew at that point that you were not made for the hunting life. You felt really disappointed in yourself. You wanted to save people so bad. It has been your purpose. Hunting gave you a direction in life and now you're starting to think that you're not up for it.

You looked back at your younger self sobbing on the ground. It broke your heart seeing the young you like that. You wanted to wrap her in your arms and tell her that it's going to be alright, that she's going to be a hunter after all and a good one too. She'll even be able to save lots of lives.

That is when it hit you.

The sundial sure is clever. It showed you two times in your life when you were quite worried if you were gonna make it or not. It was those times when you were so close to giving up but your passion got the very best of you. When you were having a hard time in university, you pulled up all-nighters and sacrificed your social life just so you can pass the exams. You aced them all and you graduated at the top of your class. You may have somehow failed on your first vampire hunt but you did everything to make up for that. You did plenty of research on all the creatures and you practiced your combat and shooting skills. It wasn't long until your hard work paid off and now, you could say that you are doing a well job in hunting.

* * *

In a blink of an eye, you found yourself back to the present.

' _How was it?_ ', Castiel inquired.

 _'It's a bit weird watching my life play over in front of eyes again._ ', you replied.

You look at the crystal, it's glow faded a bit.

' _What happened to the Citrine?_ '

' _The sun dial makes use of the sun beams._ '

You looked at it, the glow somehow faded, but it still looked beautiful.

 _'So, are you ready to see your future?'_ Castiel asked.

You thought hard.

 _'I don't think I need to see my future anymore. I know it now.. I realize that there's no use in worrying about it anymore. Things may or may not go as planned but that doesn't mean that I should worry about it. I've always worried about things I have no control over. I think it's time that I just do as I want, enjoy the present, and live in the moment._ '

You took the crystal off the sundial and handed it to Cast.

 _'I won't be needing this anymore.'_

You placed it on his hand and for a moment, you felt relief.

It's like you've freed yourself from a burden.

 _'I think you should keep it as a reminder._ ', Castiel said.

Cas held the crystal between his hands and in a flash of light, the crystal is now turned into a necklace.

Castiel walked towards you and placed the necklace around your neck.

You looked down at the pendant on your neck.

' _Use it to remind you that you should look forward to a brighter future. You are like the sun, you bring light to everyone. You have a fire in you and you've only just realized it. You can achieve anything you set your heart into. Remember that._ ', Castiel said.

' _Thanks Cas, for doing this for me.. It means a lot._ '

He just smiled.

' _To new beginnings.._ '


End file.
